Top Ten Cheesiest Movies of All Time and a Super-Cheesy Special Bonus Flick

Here is my list of the Top Ten Cheesiest Movies of all Time. I cannot tell a lie. I actually watched them all and my brain feels a little worse for the wear for doing so. Curl up in a comfy chair, grab the cheese balls and Velveeta and revel in the warm, squishy void inside your head as your brain turns into mush. Enjoy!

1) Howard The Duck (1986) Lea Thompson, Jeffrey Jones: A human female in love with a duck. Isn't that beastiality?

2) Big Trouble in Little China (1986) Kim Cattrall, Kurt Russell: You've got to love the horrible floating head, the needle of love and the swelling, exploding guy.

3) Mannequin (1987) Andrew McCarthy, Kim Cattrall: This was just freaking weird and kinky and the guy with the assymetrical afro and artsty-fartsy glasses drove me insane.

4) The Last Dragon (1985) Vanity, Taimak: You have not lived until you've experienced Sho'nuff, The Shogun of Harlem and you know you want to feel "The Glow".

5) Kaazam (1996) Shaquille O'Neal, Francis Capra: Watch this movie to witness the towering Mr. O'Neal at his doofiest.

6) The Hottie and the Nottie (2008) Paris Hilton, Adam Kulbersh: I think I liked Paris Hilton better in House of Wax when she got impaled through the forehead on a wooden stick.

7) Spice World (1998) Victoria Beckham, Melanie Brown: This was just a mindless romp of total musical stupidity.

8) Material Girls (2006) Hilary Duff, Haylie Duff: This was a joke, right? This movie did not really happen. I should have watch From Justin to Kelly!

9) Life-Size (2000) Tyra Banks, Lindsay Lohan: I have no words for this one. Ms. Banks should be ashamed of herself.

10) Vegas Vampires (2004) Daniel Baldwin, Glenn Plummer: This is truly the cheesiest vampire movie ever made, but boy did it make me laugh.

Super-Cheesy Special Bonus Flick: Showgirls (1995) Elizabeth Berkley, Kyle Gina Gershon. The critics can laugh if they want, but I actually loved this movie and have probably seen it about ten times. Nomi Malone kicks ass, darlin! Actor Glen Plummer sures know how to pick 'em. He was in Vegas Vampires also!

 

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